Book. Cape Cod. Cocaine...and some how a light.

I'm leaving for Spring Break today. We had a cluster duck of confusion last night getting things squared away but now the guys are showering and I'm in need of some Jesus time. I will be staying with my friends Heron and Joe in Cape Cod. My teacher assigned me to read an entire book over the break. Ugh. Last night the truth came out about our stop along the way. Something to do with cocaine. oh great. God, please give me strength. Somehow I'm a light. It would be so easy to just ignore the drugs but its their souls that are at stake let alone their lives. Oh I like that so much. My brokenness exposed my light. Remain broken and remain humble and the light will be evident. Help me Lord to walk in your light that I would not be found a liar. Help me not Keep my Christianity in the basement of my life. I am so still awe struck from the relevance of this in my life. Of my salvation. Of my love for You and most of all how relevant and abundant your love for me. Sometimes it feel like You meet me here where I am with no judgment but only encouragement and peace. Be near God. Take a stand in my life. Be my backbone. Help me to honor my inheritance.

Jesus the Standard, Jesus my Advocate

I talked to God today. Audible, humbly, claiming my eternal life and that nothing can pluck me from his hand. *sigh* It true, based on all I've learned in the last few years, not honoring Jesus is dishonoring to God. God Judges the secrets of men by Jesus Christ. The word...which says even my thoughts condemn me. But believing in Jesus gains me advocacy and eternal life. I used to be embarrassed to share my faith, for so long it was always a challenge people felt I was looking down on them. Not the case so I spent a year trying to buffer this, not realizing all I was accomplishing was learned compromise to make my life easier. UGH! Now Ive been trained to run away from waves. Now Im relearning to "talk", "my reformers" as I call them are helping me to practice talking. Its been great. Christ is returning to the forefront of my communication. Help me God be transparent, Honest , sincere......

Freedom means I have to make decisions

Do I want to be Healed? No not really I like having a reason to explain my struggling and my anxiety. He is the solution. I know this. For my sickness and my struggle...and anxiety. Anxiety is not my master, Jesus is. What good is it for Jesus to heal us if we are going right back to dancing with the devil and playing with the fire that burned us before (2 Peter 2:19-22)? ...True. My illness is aiding in my correctness before God. Freedom means that I cant go back. Sometimes I want my freedom to go back but thats why I'm still sick. I cant do it. Jesus knows. God I want to be sick forever if that means I can be honoring to you but i Know somewhere inside this body is the greatness you designed not suppressed by illness but alive in the truth about You.

Unjustifiably Justified

It could be that my blood sugar is low but I didn't recognize the purpose of Jesus's analogies. I always like the bridegroom reference. The pharisee were wondering why the disciples did not have to fast and Jesus was like cause its a party and I'm the party and I will be leaving soon. Ah! the balance! He's saying there being legalistic and the point is the purity of your heart and transparency before God. Grace alone but Honoring God. O00o0o0o0 new covenant! Exciting. Im so thankful for Grace but I understand seeing other who are better people than me who are not saved and it almost seems easier to try and justify my self. I know I cant. Trying seem trivial as well. That balance is hard. Holy Spirit Help Me be unjustifiably justified and honoring in light of that knowledge.

The Wavering We.

I have always liked the "church is not a showcase for saints but a hospital for sinners" cliche. I like it more now when you explain the point of the hospital. The goal is to get well. I'm waiting to see God call the humble sinners around me. I'm tired of the wavering struggling already called. Were so pathetic. ugh!

Steps for those who can't

The multi-perspective testimony is still so cool. I can imagine the responses of the people being recorded in the minds of the disciples. JD says its worth it to take the steps others cant to get them to Jesus. I was initially frightened by this idea then remember the means provided for me to aid in this step making like. Sermon audio, all the resources I have like sermons and hand out from youth group. I need to review and then distribute.

Healing Complacency

This is also a story I am personally familiar with. Its easy to run to God when your sick when your healed that's when complacency sneaks in. You forget who your serving and the humbleness dies, you forget who redeemed your soul that you might live. I "need to let" my "life show that" I "have been healed". Lord Help me not go overboard when I'm healed and help me to remember after and act according. Sometimes I forget to talk to God in my quiet time. I talk about him and to him in public but my private life is suffering. Lord help me return to the "Secret place" where I can worship You and talk to You. Jesus intercedes for me and I don't even use him. :( Help me be obedient. Help me help me help me. I want to make You so proud. Help me to do so.

Who am I?

I have been guilty of this same doubt as Peter and guilty of listening not for obedience sake but only when I'm certain it leads to success by my worldly understanding. Ive had that same Peter Moment when I realized I only listened to God when I'm certain it leads to good things but what about those moments when your tried all day to make some good and then Jesus says try one more time. I usually flake because all my energy was wasted from doing nice but trivial things. This epiphany hit like a rock to the stomach. Who am I? A sinful man as Peter exclaims. Ugh! I feel myself change everyday, My thoughts are not the same. I know its because of the Word of God. This is encouraging.

Preaching and healing.

I never realized that Jesus healed outside of the specific incidents recorded. The passage states that he "healed" all through Galilee, hen Decapolis, and from Jerusalem and Judea, and from beyond the Jordan. That's some serious ministry and exposure. The cool thing is ever step of the way he was disciplining as well. Had a rather trying day yesterday. My friend left school because of a very serious mental illness. I'm prayer for her now. God please call Mimi. Give her Peace in her mind that she can see the clearly your wondrousness. My heart aches for her. Reveal to her how disruptive her drug use is. She is a good friend...teach her Lord what real love is and help her not feel regret as she transitions from the relationship mistakes she has made.

Clean Hands and Pure Hearts

The Cross references of the gospels is pretty "Hot". I like the added affirmation that these events were actual experienced events and actual miracles Jesus performed during his ministry. Oooooo this was encouraging today. Im not sure if its the sugar from the twizzler I ate or a roaring sense of accomplishment but I feel exponentially better than I did earlier today and the encouraging "Royal priesthood" talk is getting me all excited. God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble. Resist the devil and he will fell. God Please Help me resist and draw ear to you. Help me keep my hands clean and my heart pure.

My Friends...

Thank you! Unbelievers are not the enemy. There just tools being used as I was once as an enemy of God.The more I understand about the way God works and how sin is deceitful the more obvious the captivity of the unbeliever. The truth exposes the enemy in my friends lives, the deceit about their life. Hate the Sin not the sinner is one of my dads favorite quote.

Heart Abandoned...

I used to be confused on how I can be at art school and still be in the soul occupation. Now that I'm here I see that its prime fishing. Everyone here is so scholarly and seeking truths. The problem is how delineated Jesus and sin are. This is definitely a different stream of fishes but I feel God preparing me everyday for something. I want my work to radiate truth, conviction and God. Help me Lord with my personal ministry . Help this occupation radiate my being. Help me to do everything with excellence and be observant of all that youre teaching me. Help me to love people so much I have to tell them. Help me to ACT OUT for You motivated by Your love for me and my Love for others.

Hmmmmm....

I swear I wrote one for the 12th now im confused. Writing at 3:00am might be cheating but this is the only time I have. Can I take a moment to tell ya'll about my day.
8:00 answer Phone for mom
9:00 get ready for Chapel
10:00 breakfast and leave for Chapel
11:00-12:30 Chapel
12:30-1:00 Discussion group with Luke about tuesday presentations
1:00-5:50 Work in woodshop
5:50-6:00 FIND FOOD
6:00-9:00 Art history Chinese Film series requirement for Chinese course.
9:30-2:00 Take home QUIZ Essay answers
2:00-3:00 Dinner and blog
UHGGGGHHHH!

On for the post for the 12th I recall writing about the significance of the spiritual circle and really defining your "eternity friends" by it. Those who stick are stuck for Good other wane and disrupt. The circle move (thank God) further away from them but I hope it draws them. Im sad to see them fall apart but I think this will eventually lead them to God. They dont ask me for advise anymore. The truth hurts. :/

His Purpose Kept By The Faithful.

We do indeed walk by faith and not by sight. That's for sure. Not to sound bitter but if I was relying on signs and wonders from God for my faith I'd be closer to an atheist by now. My eyes say struggle but through the eyes of Christ its perseverance for something greater. And As Paul said in Romans "perseverance lead to character and character hope and hope does not put us to shame because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us". This I know. This I have seen over and over gain. This is my sign. :)

Catch-up for the 10th

I'm looking forward to "Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame". The first time in my life I actually said well if your a good person..then I stopped and yelled no no not if your just a good person. That's not the truth. Its been a while since I spoke with God, even though Ive been reading the word everyday. Believe me we had a talk tonight and after the whole good person thing. Sometimes I get scatterbrained with the message and all the verb-age I have. Keeping it simple may be the key here as well: Repent and believe.

TRUTH...

Why is is that God allows people not of the kingdom (Maybe even Anti-Kingdom) over Christians. I remember when Chris Cohen and my dad were having trouble with their bosses at work. My adviser is so awesome in every other way except he is Atheist. UH! In our class, Art in the Age of Digital Recursion we are discussing Video before the digital age when TV and Recording was done by Analog computers. The signal that is recorded is very volatile and difficult to tame it to get the Imgae but initial what you get is a reflexive medium that requires no visual input because it reads some sort of energy signal from the room or the signal itself. Very dense stuff. Hard reading. I 100% believe that there is a whole bunch in our air waves that we cant see. I made that very clear and explained my side as well as the author of our books side. Im alone and continuity shot done because Im super spiritual about everything. I cant help it. You would think with all the new age crap other people would be about it too. Im very logical its their philosophy here sucks. Something like a series of delusions sewn together in my consciousness as experiences...
:/ then whats the point?
So for now I suffer for his sake. And soon the truth will rise.

Word from Walner Bible to Baroque

Back to my friend. If Jesus did it to me he can definitely use her and I know he is. A small conversation we had made an obvious impact on our friend. We were talking about real love. A mothers love and God's love. Our friends is skeptical of family and in denial that love exists. We said Well that's why you don't believe in love..your family sucks and you don't know Jesus. Harsh but true. She took it well because Today I found a bible in her room and a book of short stories on love. Hahahaha she's thinking. Gods using Liz like he uses me even when I still suck.

Secondly, Ive been having a rough time adjusting to the work load. I am worried I cant do it...it kind of a heavy load. Today I for got to eat. arg. its just been a long week. When Im not in class in reading when im not reading im sleeping. My friend Walner came over tonight to study and told me to read Matthew. BAHHHHHH! God just used Walner to encouraged me.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Real?

I want to be a real person and I pray that I am. Sometimes at the risk of being real Ive noticed I compromise and compromise is not real. I'm robbing people of the transforming truth of God. I'm glad its his word that calls then and not my unfaithful life. This is ironic. That the story that I once rededicate my life because is the heaviest conviction Ive felt in years. Many people believed because of her testimony. I gave my testimony at a trouble girls camp when I was with house of power about when I realized the weight of my sin. Oh they ate it up and for the first time I felt like I was part of something great. Every year at summer camp the following years never changed. I was still battling this thing. Mrs Sue asked me why I thought my testimony was the same every year. I honestly believe it was complacency. I had to be completely broken before I knew to not go back again. Same sin different story all the time. Last night my roomie drove me to Walmart and Wegmans (I love Wegmans). She confessed that she felt broken and the use of her sex life was ruining her life. She told me she went to church on Sunday. I smiled and asked what she thought. She says "I like it and want to go back...not because it was nice but because for once I feel okay with God".

waiting, fading, floating....Away

I like that Just because Im tired now doesent mean that the whole movement of God in my life is tired and exhausted. The moment is mine the movement is His. OoOoOo I like relating the level of your commitment to God to the depth of your intellect. Are you deep enough to hold the truth of Christ or deep enough to accept this truth in a scholarly or philosophical way. Ah? Nice! I really like in the reading how blunt Jesus was with her. He said basically yeah redemption is for the Jews but God wants who ever want Him. You game?

Not Feeling So Heroic...

Im waiting for you Lord...please dont turn your face from me...my sin is heavy I need your Mercy. Fill me Lord so there is no room for sin anymore. Lord is my keeper. The Lord IS my keeper. Help me Lord to be kept. Im thankful that my best willpower is as filthy rags and that its Christ in me. CHANGE MY HEART. KEEP IT LORD.

Famous!

Being involved in active ministry for years then being transplanted somewhere else where I'm not a vital part of the ministry is a tough thing to accept until you realize that the important thing is not me doing constant ministry but the fame of Christ. My humble support of the ministry already established here is the best way I can keep the attention in the right place. Its hard because Ive always played such a vital role that made me important to the ministry but sometimes me being important is not keeping the focus on God. I understand that I cannot ever be inactive because of the very nature of the Holy Spirit in me but I don't always have to steal the show and make ministry my new activity of the week.

Reading Reading Reading

I have to admit I'm getting pretty burnt out with all of this reading. I'm taking four Art History course. Totally the amount I have to catch up on from not having book and what is due by next week I have to average 50 pages of reading over the next 4 days. Uh! I have 2 chapters out of the Native American art book art with 2 articles per week from Jstor. Culture and design is 20 pages per week with 3 articles (Between 6-14 pages long) from JSTor to be posted on every Sunday. Contemporary Chinese is 6-10 pages per week with a required video screening on Sunday evening.
My Art in the Age of digital recursion is a 50 page chapter a week seminar course which requires I actually understand what I'm reading and can communicate it to my peers in an intelligent way. Uh! Then Im taking Print Making... 10 prints per week with critiques every Friday...uh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It takes 20-40 min per mono print. Now that Ive vented. Im grateful for the opportunity to grow in such a tremendous way and I used to hate reading and now I do so much of it that I actually like it now.

So in to the Post:
Oh my "twisted and crooked" generation. Everyday depravity, everyday a challneg for innocence and purity. He's right. Doing in for my glory is never going to honor God. It may impress people for a season but WHY? When its for me I actually loose reason.... Im not a good enough reason to seek purity but God is. Ok Lord! Help me to honor you in my actions my inactions my eating my drinking my walking my art. By his Grace Alone for His Glory Alone.

Feb 2, 2011

My Dad always references that part of the old testament where Moses lifted up the serpent on that staff ans those Israelites who looked at it "their sin" were healed. Jesus says so must the Son of Man be lifted up to save the believers of their sin. The more scripture I'm washed with the greater my understanding and as JD put it the more fully I see Christ which then aids in the resonating force of redemption in my faith. I have definitely been blinded by (worldly gods) idols that have made it almost impossible to see the truth of Christ. I didn't want to see it, because it was painful. Seeing the truth meant sacrificing something I wanted like that inappropriate relationship with someone too soon, too quick and wrong time. BUT! at one time I was in the darkness and now I'm in the light of the Lord and now I can discern what is pleasing to him. Affirmations.

Feb. 1st

The weather here has been quite intense. We had our first snow day today after 3 days of icy roads and blizzards. The internet is finally working. I had my hard copy of the readings in my day planner so I was able to read yesterday, but now I can actually read the post. This blogging thing is getting a lot harder. I thought being at one of the top Universities in the Nation would insure a stable internet connection, but no I had to pick a university in farmland rural upstate NY. If that's not too wild the snow has changed directions in the last few hours and is now snowing "up".

Now to the post:
I don't believe I have ever read those verses about how Jesus felt about all the miracles he performed. But Jesus knows how "disillusioned" the human race can be. I have definity used the excuse "Well God knows my heart". My intesntions are never evil but my heart has an innately evil problem...something like deceitfully wicked. God uses his word to reveal this problem with our heart. As for an infatuation with Christ...My relationships in life have been so convoluted that my perspective on love is quite warped and based on that I think me and Christ are pretty darn good. But the more scripture I read I realize how messed up my perception of love is. I need some major brain re-washing. I'm happy to have this responsibility to read and wash everyday.

Holy Cow!

Ahhhh... Very heavy today. I always saw this passage as Jesus being angry at the mis-use of the temple but when You say I my body is the temple, Jesus has got to be really angry when I miss use my body. Holy Cow! I am thankful that my soul is so important to Jesus. The three days thing was really profound. He triumphed over sin when he died and was resurrected in 3 days....he defeated it....he made us good with God again, which was the purpose of the temple building and he rebuilt our temple body by defeating sin and making us cool with God. I'm freaking out. This is so cool. I like.

If He can Save Me...He Can Have Me....

This most came at a relevant time. I was speaking with my new chapel buddy about going to Holden College for Praise and worship. He was discussing how nice it is to visit other ministries and revel in God instead of always catering to your ministry. I told him I thought that was appropriate because sometimes you need to be refreshed before you get too burnt out.

On a sad note: I found out thismorning that one of my good friends had passed away. I'm so sad. This is not the best vehicle for me to deliver the gospel. I'm mad at myself for not sharing the gospel with CJ. Im mad that I havent told my friend Mimi or my friend Heron. What about Connor? Im motivated by fear that I will lose them and be without these people I love for eternity. I'm sad. I'm not hungry. I need a God Day... not a Typo.

The Best is Yet to Come.

Last semester when I seemed to have given up the work I produced was raw, broken and bleeding. This semester I'm in mostly Art History course and my studio work is clean crisp and minimalist. I don't know exactly if this is good or not but I feel my better moods affects my work. Still not sure if this is better. Lord give me a understanding of my purpose here with art and please allow my work to bleed the evidence of my knowledge of sin and my convictions. Help me Lord to be profound. Let your Truth radiate my being... Be captivating.

I am encouraged by the best is saved for last. I'm ready for God to begin throwing his wight around in my life. Ive been ill for the last few days which I'm thankful for believe it or not. My illness has given me a valid excuse to bum around my suite and do homework for my 4 Art History classes. The schedule Ive oblugated myself to will no longer allow me free time on the weekends...which I like but Im also afraid that without any down time...ill compromise a night I really need to stay focusd. God give me strength to persevere and the wisdom to determine when Its time to relax and the wisdom to know what this relaxing looks like.

Following.

I like how Nathanael is a smarty pants when He asks "Can anything good come out of Nazareth?" Ha ha ha....and Phillip just as witty responds come and see. I think this will be my new approach to questions. Jesus knew Nathaniel's discerning nature and proved himself, with a promise that he basically hasn't seen greatness yet. I like this Jesus Pose thing. The followers of Christ its kinda like a seminar class. Voluntary, intimate, and beneficial to those learning and bouncing ideas off of each other. I miss bible study with Tammi. I'm excited again for Sunday to come. I need some bible based communion with other believers...Bad.

REWARDS

Woah! Passions of the flesh DO wage war against our souls(1 Peter 2:11). Its been so rewarding being honest with people about my faith and where I stand with sin. Slowly but surely I'm making the right decisions and being productive instead of....the other , but at the same rate I'm meeting more and more people of like faith. I love this. Thank you God. Just today I was invited to have tea at some new acquaintances hows after class. On the way I remarked "Oh I have to do my blog...do you guys have internet?" They said "yes, whats your blog about?" :) Open door. So I began to explain...this lead to a serious of questions about my faith with was followed my "Us too!" HAHAHA I love it!!! God is really showing me his awesomeness this year and this blog/devotional has been such a blessing as a witnessing tool, training tool, and faith booster. No real temptation has started. I'm weary that it is to come but I am confident that God is ever for me and Christ sympathizes in my weakness, and nothing can keep me from God. Now I live it. Thank you God for a great day and please bless Elliot and Kirsty for their fearlessness in sharing their faith.

Encouraged!

Wow...today was a butt load of encouragement or I was particularly convinced of God plan for this....all of this....and all of that. Paul is so sure...that encourages me. God will finish what he started in me. This concept of "Build it and they will come" has been confirmed in my life. I have consciously made decisions to honor God in my speech and actions. Each time I chose wisely, I was blessed. Either and inner rightness or a new opportunity to witness or a new person to witness to me. Its exciting that I've been so encouraged but I'm sure there will be an instance when Im not greeted with kindness and opportunities. Will I be crushed....Yes, but blessed are we who are hated on the account of Christ (Luke 10:16)

Well the Internet is down...

Its nice to know that the internet here is so unreliable. Id been without the internet since Monday evening. BLAH! but God continues to still be good to me.

Now for the post.

I think it was completely humbling for John to baptise Jesus. He told him that it was what must be done. It was also humbling for Jesus to be baptized. Baptism was so sinners which Jesus was not. Now, I believe this action to be a reinforcement to us belivers that baptism is Gods design to unite us with Christ in obedience and an important act in our spiritual walk. Thank you God for providing a way for me to be recocciled to you throught Jesus Chrsit who lived the life I cannot. But through his death Thank You God I am now crucufied with Christ and I no longer live but Christ Lives in me and the life I live, I live now by faith in him who gave his life for me. Now I can live as to honor God and Know what his will is for not just my life but for this world I live in and function properly for the body, my brothers and sister in Christ.

Ambassadors...

It heavy the responsibility to be an ambassador of Christ but I am thankful that is God who opens their hearts. Just be available Stephanie. Be ready, think before you speak and dont compromise the word of Truth. I'm happy to see little nuggets of truth that have entered the ears and what I believe the hearts of my friends. I pray those seeds grow and I am excited to think of the possibilities of those truths. The transforming power of God. :) Im looking for the promise that If I am in good conscience, when I am slandered those who revile me will be put to shame. MAN! I was looking for that word for a month. My transparency is my protection when slandered. I'm reminded of my good friend who has lived a greater, more transparent lifestyle than myself and that beauty is continually defended in all situations. I want that in my life.

Burn.

God is Holy Holy Holy....Like a hammer driving a point. Holy, Holy, Holy. In service today, the gentleman who spoke delivered a message about the Holiness of God. It was so intense. The back story was when King David tried to bring the Arch into Jerusalem the in proper way and Uza died. This is along the lines of the past few days devotionals. Their show for God was in vain because it wasn't obedient to his original plan. They took the easy way out. Oh how Ive done this in my own life. Why would God take up my offering of praise when the day before used my vessel in an grievous way. Sometime I wish God would strike me down when I was disobedient like Uza or those 2 sons in Leviticus. Oh but when he returns, separating the wheat from the chaff. The refiners fire. He will make it right again. Please Lord help me to continue to burn off any unrighteousness and dishonor. I'm so ready! God encouraged me so greatly today. Seeing people I knew at chapel...hearing familiar things like Christ the only atonement for sin. ahhhhhh.... sunsets and new friends. Convictions and new opportunities to do things right. I know persecution will come as I begin to change from night to day from black to white from old to new. My friends that are used to seeing me compromise and medicate will resent my decision to pass on said activities. Lord give me strength and purpose with each decision.

Tenderhearted....

Uuuuhhhh! Man. Just when I think I'm okay Ephesians. Ive got a lot of things to "put away" as Paul says it. No need to list but we can call it the "Old Me". I'm sure I could see where Im going if I didn't disrupt or block the path with all these things. Help me God honor you with my mouth and my actions. I have an opportunity tonight to honor you as I hang out with my friends, that If I actually loved them I would tell them the truth of God and sin. :( I get so scared its easier to just laugh along with the depraved conversations and avoid questions of my spirituality. Thank you God for my new friend Jeff who is taking me to Church tomorrow. He is such a christian. I love having them around again. I hope this to be the beginning of less compromise and better accountability. Help me not to grieve the Holy Spirit in me.

BROKEN.

I am guilty of this as well. My blase-aux approach to my faith is similar to the Pharisees except I have no ritual that makes me feel upright about my sin. But I have caught myself saying "Jesus died I'm good". NOT GOOD....oh complacency and lack of initiative. Ive never thought that I didn't need Mercy and grace but Ive sure acted like it. Lord, search my heart, make me right. Help me to be quicker to catch these blase-aux moments in my faith. Help me not to compromise. I know Lord that my brokenness leads to Godly sorrow and that sorrow to repentance and that repentance to forgiveness. Thank you Lord for giving my such strong convictions, my only hope to staying in You.

Body, Mind, and Spirit.

I love the way that's written...the rough places shall become level and all flesh shall see

the salvation of God. I want to speak the Truth and be Ready. To be ready is to study and show myself approved, a workmanship that need not be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth (2 Tim 2:15). Lord help me to honor you in my hear as Holy. Help me to be prepared to defend the hope that is in me. I'm feeling the pressure of being one of the few Christians on campus. Help my faith, my voice, my convictions, my joy, my witness, give voice to the others hear. Aliven our hearts God for your glory.

Finished first few days of classes. I like my schedule. I will have a lot of writing to do. Its a good thing I like it. The reading load is rather intense but I'm stoked. God is so good to me. He has been answering my prayers for peace, joy, and focus. Ive been taking care of myself: Exercising, eating right and taking vitamins. I feel amazing. Not only is my body being nourished my spirit feels satisfied as well from devotions and the encouragement from other Christians. Then my the part of my mind that needs fun and "niche" type things is rejoicing with all the crazy new insights into the art.

The Witness.

God is so good to me. Today was definitely one of those days when I was encouraged by the light of Christ in my life. 100% I was absolutely encouraged by not only a brother in the faith but a friend who is not there yet but I can feel the pull of God on her life. Just today. I now have an "in" on the bible studies on campus. I hope this is right. I hope that God is showing me my people. I'm encouraged by John today. His ministry wasn't long but it was so imperative to the coming of Christ. I'm encouraged today that my life herald Christ's coming. I want it to. I pray it does.

I like that we can have "Fellowship with God, fellowship with each other, and triumph over sin" in heaven, "but the one thing we do here that we cannot do in heaven is to tell people about Jesus."

Now the pressure is on. I like it. Lord be with me in this place.

Consciousness...

Growing up means remaining faithful to my convictions. I feel as if I'm starting new a new year, a new walk with the knowledge and experience of whats behind. A faithful walk is my goal this year. I have such peace with this new semester. If obedience and submission are the fruit of that type of walk then I pray that these fruits radiate my being. I do understand that I will share in the sufferings of Christ as I sacrifice thing in my life or get a back bone and stand up for the things I believe in. Lord I pray that every aspect of my life each conscious move of sin would be replaced with an unconscious move of faith and obedience to You. Please help me find the right job here. Make it obvious. Thank you.

Evidence.

I am encouraged that if i do what I'm suppose to I do, the next step will take care of itself or be obvious my next move. I'm sitting in the Terra Cotta Coffee House waiting for my interview with the manager. I am not encouraged to stay because he is over an hour late. :( Maybe I will be blessed for my persistence.
I totallly agree that I am transformed in the mundane. I love that. Since Ive been sitting here close to a dozen people have stopped and told me how wonderful I am and how much theve missed me. Wow. I feel blessed that they recognize the awesomeness of Christ in me. Stellar and encouraging evidence of Christ in my life.

*sigh*
Im feeling the favor of God...thank you Jesus!!!!!!

The Course...Of Course

Joesph was obedient and prophecy was fulfilled. John 12 has never been so relevant to me. I was just speaking with my RA and a close friend about the being advised to not get involved romantically here while at school. They agreed about waiting and cultivating virtues to be ready when the time came. Then I read them John 12:24-26 about the fruit out of death...sacrifice and life. Thank you God for that opportunity. I'm not going to lie the devotional is getting harder and harder to find time to do it. I'm here at Alfred and getting settled in. Lord set my course! Help me to be obedient like Joesph. I hope a job at the Terra cotta is part of his course.

New World

I definitely understand losing the dream to begin it….losing sometimes is accompanied with kicking and screaming…God I pray that you me accept the losses and trust your hand in my life….like relationships, fun, and all those things I want now.

I do know the season of down time is good for me but man is it tough, My biggest fear is the fact that I let Christ fade from my life and that not only affects me but everyone around me. Complacency is not my thing. I definitely have to tighten up. Robbing others og God grace and Mercy is BS I cant to that. Lord help me to always show you first NOT I but THEE.

I have to cut this one short today. I just made it to NY and trying to find a place to stay for the night. Thank you Lord for your provision thus far.

Luke 2:21-38

I like the "mundane" is part of the movement of God. I was speaking with my friend today about the importance of the mundane as it relates to your understanding of people. Ironically the story my pastor told me came to my mind. He told me that the important things in your marriage are the mundane, usually overlooked quirks of your spouse. For instance, how they make their bed or the way the squeeze the toothpaste tube (rolled or squeezed?) I believe whole heartedley obedience in the mundane are strengthening tool of God for either your marriage or your life. For instance, going to class everyday or the devotional. If I could just remember with every mundane thing that happens in my life that God is definitely moving and like Hebrews that he "will never leave" me.

Matthew 2:1-12

Today was a day of visits… Some came to see me…others met up with me and others I went to see. I believe community is so important ….I always have but I believe that now more than ever community means support and help in time of need.

Leaving behind what was and pressing on toward a newness of Christ is hard to do. I was reminded today of a lot of that was ....and it is for sure behind. Its is indeed a true revelation that one can't change the situations that were....I can only give the burden over to God and believe that he is just and will handle it better than I would.

I need to heed Paul and focus on other who are doing well in their walk and not trying to help or fix those who are not. My friend Connor counseled me after a trying night with the words of .similar to Paul....you cant change people or control what they do.

....SO

Let us hold true to what we have attained while I wait for justice...the return of my savior.

Luke 2:8-20

Jessie Hamilton took me out to lunch today. I really enjoyed catching up with her. We are in very similar situations where everyone in our world is medicating and its hard not to jump in.
Thank you Lord for Jessie: A friend that no matter how much time has passed and no matter the distance always cherishes me and reminds me that Jesus looks good on me.

Is the revelation of Christ to your life the treasure you seek?

I really thought about this and based on my conviction with Jessie at lunch, the revelation of Christ to my life IS the treasure that I seek. Specifically when it comes to what my work says about Christ in my life is such a important thing to me.

Lord Help Me Be Obedient! ... to no one but you.

Luke 2:1-7 (Trouble)

Trouble! Trouble Trouble trouble!
I'm seriously counting on Christ. The world is far stronger than I am but the strength I'm counting on is Christ in me and Christ through me.

Its difficult to resist ---->

But im reminded of Baylon using the articles of the temple to toast to their own gods. These articles were created for the sole purpose of honoring God. I was created for the sole purpose of honoring God and using my body (vessel) in any other way than what is was created for is like the Babylonians defiling the articles of the temple.

I know far too well the ways of the world and what "Dancing with the Devil" looks like. There is no excuses anymore. I cannot play to fool and claim that I was deceived. At this point any deception would be from my own complacency with sin in my life.

It kinda sucks now... Now I'm without excuse.....

Even though I know the truth it doesn't make it any easier to make the right decisions. But Ive been feeding the wrong lion in my life. I feel confident that with each word I read of Gods I'm strengthening myself and one step closer to making the right decision a little quicker. And hopefully with out being scathed.

Matthew 1:18-25

...Blast! I was looking a S&W Revolvers and my computer got a virus....This is disheartening because I had already written a paragraph of my post. Gods divine way of telling me not to multitask during bible study.

Okay Back to Joseph...He most definately needed to hear from God in this situation. The women he was suppose to marry was pregnant. The Tall tale sign of infidelity. He may have thought she was taken advantage of and decided not to publicly humiliate her. But divine action was necessary for this situation to work out like it did. Can you imagine the stress.... ahhhh.

I don't understand a lot of things that are going on in life and why it has to be so hard. But I know God. I know hes righteous. Its hard to trust and be strong enough not to medicate the hurt away but I know God will honor me if I'm honoring to him and to this temple he gave me.

"My Dreams...God's Plan" Luke 1:57-80

Wow...that story has never been that exciting before. Zechariah was mute and with his act of belief and obedience...the flood gates were opened. Dude let it rip! Blessing to God and prophesy. Nice! i\

I understand the doubt in God Zechariah had. If it doesnt look like I think it should...I doubt Gods hand in it. Forinstance, My financial situation, health problems, and screw ups in my school records. In the beginning of the year I saw these things as hindrances but these instances specifically have proved to be the work of God in my life. Although not ideal for a first semester these mishaps have provided me with many opportunities I wouldn't otherwise have.

Not all the issues are resolved and at this point Im seriously wondering whats going on with my life and if "im there". But as i grow i feel my maturity and situation's maturity are carefully crafted situations that have formed my compassion, grace, and peace I now cherish as beautiful character traits.

I'm excited to see how God will use me and these situations to bring glory to his name. Please Lord help me to be patient and pliable.

Luke 1:39-56

All I feel when I read this is how cool it is when Gods Promises are fulfilled. God Kept his word that a savior would be born. I do feel blessed by the people in my life's blessings. Gods mercy on my parents and their marriage is all I need to know that God loves my family. They are being obedient to Gods will in their lives and they are being blessed not in riches but in peace and love. od

I am joyful that Jesus is waiting to fulfill his detiny in my destiny. I pray that im am continually obedient to Christ in my life.

"Let It Be" Luke 1:26-38

God can do anything and can do anything through me... Even though I mess up sometimes? Even though I'm scared? Even though I don't respond the way a women of God should respond in crazy situations? Tammi told me once you cant limit God...God uses who he wants to use, its your choice to be used like Paul or Judas.

I do agree that Mary's response was quite beautiful and a response I'd like to adopt.
"Let It Be According to Your Word." So your word says in Romans that I was predestined to the image of Jesus. Your word says in Ephesians that you God of the universe gave me the spirit so Christ could be in me helping to ground me, and give me the strength to comprehend the knowledge and the power of God. So I have faith because the spirit in me allows me to comprehend.

Side note: The more bible I read and the more profound the Beatles are.

Luke 1:5-25

Oh how relevant this is.... Reproach! I know thee well. Recent situation at New Years caused me to cry out "Why do I have to keep reliving my past". I have faith that God will take away my reproach but while sanctification is in process the weight of who I used to be is heavy and appears to never die. Can I live it down? I could live without reproach circumspectly so I could be found without fault from others (luke 1:15)...as evidence that the old has passed away and behold all things are new (2 Corinthians 5:17). As far as Gods Concerned I'm blameless. I remain confident but humble because I know where I came from.
HELP ME GOD!

Certainty for Theo (Luke 1:1-4)

Inasmuch as many have undertaken to compile a narrative of the things that have been accomplished among us, 2 just as those who from the beginning were eyewitnesses and ministers of the word have delivered them to us, 3 it seemed good to me also, having followed all things closely for some time past, to write an orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus, 4 that you may have certainty concerning the things you have been taught. -Luke 1:1-4

Luke wrote because others have written and in their writings he felt certain of the things he was taught about God. I feel the exact same way, I enjoy writing about things I've learned and epiphanies I've had. I hope ever word to be a witness of Gods grace and presence in my life. I like that Luke wrote an "orderly account" for Theo for his assurance and certainty. I feel honored and blessed to have the same advantage in my faith. Reading in one thing, but belief and obedience is a whole issue. I feel assurance, conviction and power from every passage I read. This convinced me that the Word is indeed.....ALIVE and ACTIVE (Heb 4:12).

Matthew 1:1-17

A few years ago, I spent entirely too much time trying to gather information about my family tree. Its pretty hard to find records and requires a lot of patience to wait for grandparents to remember who married their great aunt. Honestly, the genealogies can be quite mundane. BUT...I recognize many of the names from when I did the Daniel Study. That's encouraging. ;)
On the encouraging note...future glory compared to present suffering. (Romans 8)
Can I just say that Romans 8 is super amazing!!! Being free from the bondage of corruption.....uh yes please. Predestined to be formed into the image of Christ... So encouraging.

Alot of the people listed in the genelogy have done some pretty sweet things. I hope to be that cool. Did they make it in the Bible for historical reasons like they were doing super cool things for Israel or because they were in the bloodline?

Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree? Not making light of Galations 3:13 but my favorite past time is hanging from trees. :/

Status is so important me not just a high status but my own anti-status status. I Hate stereotypes but love labels. I want to be great, but I know God need to be greater. Its hard to put ones self in a group with everyone else but as for being part of God's stock is the greatest honor....thats a status I'm proud of .

-Lord please help me continually to find my adequacy in You. Help me to further Your kingdom...You made me a pretty cool chick and I want to make You proud.

Amen

Luke 3:23-38

Okay wow! Big epiphany! I never quite understood why Israel was so important to God. They are important because ISRAEL is family. Jesus, the salvation to the world would come out the bloodline. That's serous stuff!
YAY for adoption (Eph. 1:5)!
As for Christ Return...What I should be doing... (1 Peter 4:7) says that "The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. " At one time I read that the Spirit intercedes to God for us (Romans 8:26). If we are out of control we grieve the spirit in us therefore hindering our prayers (Eph 4:30).

John 1:10-18

This Challenge to Read the Gospels with my church body for the next year, I know will be just that: a challenge. Sometimes I think that if I could just compartmentalize aspects of my life it would be easier to handle. As enticing as it sounds, there are some things too cathartic to gloss over. For instance the challenge to Read the gospels with my Church body assigned on the first Sunday of the year accompanied by the first communion of the year. Having been separate from the body for 6 months I’m overwhelmed with joy to commune physically (Church), spiritually (Challenge), and symbolically (Communion) with these people I consider to be my support group and my family. Chapter 11 of John 1 confirms Gods hand in my own birth. I’ve revived and I believe (vs.12). Through Jesus Christ I am given rights that I would not have otherwise to be a Child of God (v.12). As for the “Word” of God (vs. 14)… we know from service today that the Word was not a new thing. Jesus was not a last resort from God. It was written that The Word was in the beginning of time, with God and was God. John cries out that Jesus his predecessor in age out ranks him because he knows Jesus was “The Word” that was in the beginning with God (John 1:15). Returning to the notion of my predetermined birth, (vs. 18) God is the reveal-er of The Word, the Grace and Truth: Jesus Christ. That’s pretty exciting that God decides who and he decided me.